by Steve Gergley
Ronald was the first human to eat a ripe plum. Sixteen of his nineteen living siblings have no visible eyebrows. He lived in Weehawken, New Jersey for 337 and 8/9ths years. At 5:13 a.m. every morning, he does 445 pushups amid the sharp and chilly dust of the attic. On March 19th, 1983, Ronald told his great-great-great-great-granddaughter that the key to immortal life is lying awake in bed from four to one each day, and reciting from memory the totality of the New York City Subway System.
Steve Gergley is the author of a bunch of books and a lot of weird writings of an indeterminate nature. His new novel, Stone Cells, will be published by Translucent Eyes Press on August 28th, 2026. He tweets @GergleySteve. His fiction can be found at: https://stevegergleyauthor.wordpress.com/. He’s also the editor of scaffold literary magazine.