By Zac Smith
Yeah, I mean, I’m pretty sure it was over here somewhere. Like, I mean, we just follow the tracks, right? It’s not like it would have gone very far. Ha. But you know what I mean. right? Because, like… well, wait, how do trains move? Wheels, right? No, I know, I just mean, like. They’re not wheels wheels. They have, uh, like, those things on them. No, I know, they’re still wheels. I just meant, like, off the track, is all, they’re not, like…They don’t have tires, I guess. Is that better? They’re not just long cars. Although I’m tellin’ you, man, they should absolutely make long cars. Trucks. Like, long trucks, long, uh… long trains of trucks, is what I mean. Remember I was telling you about that? Like trains, but on the highway. Hitch up a bunch of trucks and, I mean, then you got a train that can go anywhere. That’s all I’m saying. Because normal trains, like, they probably don’t go very far off the track, because they don’t have like car, uh… car wheels, right? They’re metal or whatever. So, like, when they go off the track, I mean, they can’t go far. That’s what I’m thinking is all. It’s not like that movie. Did I ever show you that movie trailer? Fuckin’… oh, man, remind me to show you that when we get back to the car. It’s crazy. This train, like, well… I don’t want to spoil it. But believe me, man, it’s funny as shit. It’s like the train version of that Housu trailer. With the fuckin’, like… house… the piano… Is housu just Japanese for “house?” Gotta be, right? Point is, the train’s not gonna go off and, like, run down a highway and, like – shit, okay, I don’t want to spoil the trailer. you just gotta watch it, man. Not know what to expect going in. That’s the best way. Point is, we go along the track, we’re bound to see it. Can you imagine, though? Like, fuckin’, a train just goes off the tracks but keeps going? You’re gonna love this fuckin’, uh… this trailer is good, man. But for real, I mean, like, it would definitely fall over, is the thing. Trains don’t, like, stand up right on their own. Think about it, okay? Like, why else would they have the tracks like that? So I bet it didn’t go very far. And, like, I heard the thing, is what I’m saying. Definitely heard the chugga chugga shit. And then just this loud, crazy-ass shit. Like… fuckin’… metal scraping noises, you know? Pshcrrrreeeesssh! Shit like that. And broken glass and shit, pshaw, crishhh, fuckin’… I dunno, like, thumping sounds. trees or some shit. Poles or whatever, like it was a fuckin’ candlepin alley, boom, boom, boom, motherfucker! And some screaming, too. I mean… I definitely heard that. I’m pretty sure. It was, like, actually kinda fucked up. Like – okay, yeah, see? There. Look! Look at that! Damn! Look at that! I fuckin’ told you, bro. Total fuckin’ carnage. Damn. Okay. I mean, I figured, but, like. Shit. This is pretty bad, right? Wait, hold on. Like… are we allowed to be here? There’s a lot of, like… okay, yeah, those are dead bodies. Ha. Damn! I mean. It’s not funny. But, like, shit. That’s so many dead bodies, bro. Fuck. Shit, look at that. That’s not good, right?
Zac Smith is riding the caboose.